A blonde goes into work one morning crying her
eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being,
asks
sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde
replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother
had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't
you go home for the
day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the
day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains,
"No, I'd be better off here. I need
to keep my mind off it and I
have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and
allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need
anything, just let me
know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check
on the blonde. He looks
out over his office and sees the blonde
crying hysterically. He rushes
out to her, and asks, "Are you going to
be okay? Is there anything I
can do to help?"
"No," re
plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she
said
that HER mom died too!"A young ventriloquist is touring the
clubs
and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in
Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual
dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her
chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid
blonde
jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the
color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as
a human being?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from
being respected at work
and in the community and from reaching our full
potential as a person,
because you and your kind continue to
perpetuate discrimination
against, not only blondes, but women in
general...and all in the name of
humor!"The ventriloquist is embarrassed
and begins to apologize, when the
blonde yells, "You stay out of
this, mister! I'm talking to that
little idiot on your knee!"The assistant asked the blonde if she would
like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she
said, "I could never eat twelve!"A blonde was
walking down the road with a
healthy looking pig under her arm. As she
passed the bus stop,
someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied, "I won
her in a raffle!"A person went into the
office kitchen one
morning and found a new blonde girl painting the
walls. She was
wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a
little strange, he asked her why she was wearing
them rather than
old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the
tin,
"For best results, put on two coats".Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to
unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:
"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is
down!Three blondes were walking through a field when
they came across a set
of tracks.
The first blonde
looked down at the tracks and said,
"I think they could be bird
tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said,
"No, I
think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third
blonde went over to the tracks. She
looked down, then got run over by
the train!A blonde was driving down
the road
listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard
blonde joke after
blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another
blonde out
in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and
angrily
jumped out yelling,
"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like
you that give the rest of
us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come
out there and give you what's
coming to you!"A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after
work
for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A
man was
shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the
blonde bet
the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure
enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead
said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde
insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock
news, so
I can't take your money."
The blonde replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"A dumb
blonde was really tired of being
made fun of, so she decided to have her
hair she would look like a
brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in
the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a
farmer and a flock of
sheep and thought,
"Oh! Those sheep are
so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The
farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a
try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The
farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like
a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before
she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the
real color of your hair, can I have my dog
back?"1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  |
