A ragged individual stranded for several months
on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day
noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to
the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the
message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
"we regretfully have found it
necessary to cancel your e-mail
account."This customer comes into
the computer
store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with
lots of graphics.
You know, something really challenging."
"Well," replied the
clerk, "Have you tried Windows 98?"Redmond,
WA --Microsoft announced today
that the official release date for the
new operating system "Windows
2000" will be delayed until the second
quarter of 1901.What do computers eat when they get hungry?
Chips.What's the difference between Windows 95 and a
virus?
A virus does something.If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a
Windows box crashed...
Oh, wait a minute, he already does.There was once a young man who,
in his
youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to
define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that
the whole world
will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly
emotional
level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and
anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.There was once a
young man who, in his
youth, professed his desire to become a great
writer.
When
asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that
the whole
world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly
emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and
anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.Dear Boss,
I hope I haven't misunderstood
your instructions. Because to be
honest, boss, none of this Y to K
dates problem makes any sense to me.
At any rate I have finished
converting all the months on all the
company calendars so that the
year 2000 is ready to go with the following
improved months:
Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk.
In addition, I have changed the days of
the week, and they are now:
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak,
Thursdak, Fridak and Saturdak.
Is it enough, or should I change any
other Y to K? I am a fan of the
New York Yankees. Should I call
them New Kork Kankees in order to be Y2K
ready?A programmer was walking along the beach when
he found a lamp.
Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated
"I am the most
powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any
wish you want, but only one
wish."
The programmer pulled out a
map of the Mediterranean area and said
"I'd like there to be a
just and last peace among the people in the
middle east."
The
genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been
fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this
is beyond my limits."
The programmer then said, "Well, I am a
programmer and my programs
have a lot of users. Please make all the
users satisfied with my programs,
and let them ask sensible
changes"
Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  |
